Old Coot Test
Take a few minutes to take the following true or false test:
Less than 10 true = You are not in danger...yet!
10 to 15 true = You are borderline "Old Coot/Biddy", and it should not be much longer!!
More than 15 true = Congratulations, You are an "Old Coot or Old Biddy"!!
1.Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is no longer an option.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You sing along with the elevator music.
6. You watch the Health Channel.
7. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
8. Your back goes out more than you do.
9. Jeans and a button shirt no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Iams instead of McDonalds leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. AARP is propositioning you.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
19. Your ears are hairier than your head.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again".
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same!!
Do you remember any of these??
Candy cigarettes
Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
Hoola hoop contests
Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum
Home milk delivery in glass bottles, with cardboard stoppers
Telephone party lines
Newsreels before the movie
P. F. Flyers
Butch wax
Telephone numbers with a word prefix .... (Drexel-5505
Peashooters
Howdy Doody
45 RPM Records
Green Stamps
Hi-fi's
Metal ice cube trays with levers
Mimeograph paper
Blue flash bulbs
Beanie and Cecil
Roller skate keys
Cork pop guns
Drive ins
Studebakers
Wash Tub wringers
The Fuller Brush man
Reel-to-reel tape recorders
Phonographs
The "twist", "mashed potatoes", and "funky-chicken"
15 cent McDonald hamburgers & 10 cent fries
35 cent-a-gallon gasoline
When the first man walked on the moon
When Elvis Presley first appeared on the Ed Sullivan show
When the Beatles arrived
If you can remember most or all of these, then you are an "Old Coot/Biddy".
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